1.
Use non-threatening and ‘safe topics’ for initial small talk. Talk about established shared experiences, the weather, how you travelled to where you are. Avoid talking too much about yourself and avoid asking direct questions about her.
2.
Listen to what she is saying and look for shared experiences or circumstances - this will give you more to talk about in the initial stages of communication.
3.
Try to inject an element of humour. Laughing together creates harmony, make a joke about yourself or the situation/circumstances you are in. Don't crack a joke and laugh alone. Trust me it's crazy.
4.
Be conscious of your body language and other non-verbal signals you are sending. Try to maintain eye contact for approximately 60% of the time. Relax and lean slightly towards them to indicate listening. This works like magic.
5.
Mirror their body-language if appropriate. This involves a lot of mastery. Guy please don't fuck up here.
6.
Show some empathy. Demonstrate that you can see the other person’s point of view. Remember rapport is all about finding similarities and ‘ being on the same wavelength ’ as somebody else - so being empathic will help to achieve this.
7.
Make sure she feels included but not interrogated during initial conversations. This is where we guys do fail mostly. Remember your not a police and she isn't a suspect. Put her at ease, this will enable you to relax and conversation to take on a natural course.
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