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Self confidence building Step Two

                          


                          STEP TWO: BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

Click here to read step one

“Experience is not what happens to you, it’s how you interpret what happens to you.” Aldous Huxley


           Karen is a single parent with two very young children. She had a belief that the other mothers at her children’s nursery were so much better than her. One afternoon, she arrived a little earlier than usual to pick up her children and got talking to another mother in the playground. Karen was apologetic and mumbled something about not being there enough at the nursery and not knowing the other mothers socially because she was always so rushed. The other mother looked at her with surprise, and said, “Karen, you have no idea how much we admire and respect you for being such a super mum. You seem to manage to juggle things so well. And your children are so happy and smiley, polite and well-mannered. Whatever it is that you do, I’m sure some of us could learn a lot from you!” Karen remembered this conversation the next time she was about to criticize herself for not being good enough. And on the odd occasion when she met the other mothers in the playground, she felt more confident and self-assured about herself. Karen’s beliefs were based on the ‘stories’ she told herself in her mind, which were not actually true. This tiny shift in her perception enabled Karen to shift her feelings about herself and her confidence.

Beliefs! What Are They?

       The extent of your success is determined by the magnitude of your beliefs. Behind every action are beliefs. These beliefs can take you to new heights of confidence and success. Your beliefs are learned and acquired throughout your life. Your beliefs have evolved from your childhood, from key influential people and your surroundings. As well as from the meaning you chose to attach to events or experiences and from the information that you received from other people, books and the media

 

We adopt our own individual beliefs as we experience our world

      The strength of the belief that you have usually depends on the emotional meaning that you gave to that experience. Then the brain takes over and automatically does everything in accordance with that belief on an unconscious level. This belief then becomes your reality. “You can be anything you want to be, if only you believe with sufficient conviction and act in accordance with your faith; for whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.” Napoleon Hill An important step for you to begin to increase your confidence is for you to believe it is possible. For centuries it has been known that whatever you strongly believe in has a tendency to materialize. This true story (below) illustrates this point.


Being confident is about believing in yourself, and “I can” is a strong statement of confident belief.

      Believe in yourself and in your capabilities to be what you want to be your basic beliefs are the ones that you have built up over many years, often from your earlier life or as a result of a highly emotional experience. Some of these beliefs support you in achieving the things that you want to achieve; and there are those beliefs that may hold you back from your goals and desires. These may also affect your confidence.


An example of a professional situation:

What happened? “My boss asked me to make a presentation to our regional managers.”
What did you think? “I can’t put a presentation together. What if I get asked all sorts of questions?”
What did you feel? “I panicked. I felt like a bag of nerves. I was worried and scared. Even angry at myself.”

In this way you have identified what deep beliefs you hold that make you act in a particular way. What you thought and felt, as in the examples above, made you feel confidence because you lacked belief in yourself.

By recognizing that you lack confidence in a particular area, you have taken the first step of identifying it. Once you have identified the area you are in a position to tackle it.

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