How to Make A Guy to Say What He's Really Thinking

Ever wish you could peer into someone's mind to find out what he really thinks about you, your idea, your project, or your date? Now you can with the ultimate mind-reading technique that actually uses a combination of several psychological principles. When you think someone isn't telling you the truth this sure-fire technique is an excellent method for revealing a persons true feelings in any situation.

Getting a truthful opinion from someone can be hard because you can't outright call him a liar, arguing that he doesn't really believe what he is saying. For this technique to work, you just have to get the person to commit to liking the idea/person, etc. (If he doesn't like it, then you don't have to worry about trying to get the truth because you're already getting it.)

Once she says that she likes it, don't argue or press her on it. This is exactly where most people mess up. They'll say something like, "Are you sure you like it? Do you really?" The other person is not now going to say, "Well, now that I think of it. . ." She's going to become more absolute in her approval and you may not be getting to what she really thinks.

With this technique, you'll see that the words you use in your response indicate that you agree and that there is room for improvement. She feels comfortable offering criticism because she feels that you expect her to do so. The two main psychological tactics at work here are consistency (human beings have a need for continuity with their thinking) and expectancy (people often do what is expected of them). Both of these concepts are covered more extensively in other sections throughout this book.

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Example I
You're not sure if your co-worker really likes your idea for a new marketing campaign, even though she says that she does.
Q: Do you like the concept for my new idea?
A: Sure. It's very original.
Q: Well, what would it take for you to love the idea?

Example II
You want to know if your son is looking forward to going to camp this
summer.
Q: Are you excited about camp next month?
A: Yeah. It'll be fun.
Q: What would it take for you to be really excited about going?

Example III
Q: Do you like my new deck?
A: Sure, it looks fine.
Q: How do you think I can make it even better?
As you can see, all these people feel comfortable answering honestly because your questions to them make it obvious that you know that everything's not perfect. By not pressing the point of their liking it, their answer naturally unfolds as an extension of what they've already said, and the truth—what they're really thinking—merely "pops" out.

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